There are some people who say you should not share any details about your wedding so that you do not have to deal with everyone’s judgements and opinions. Some brides I know will not even show friends pictures of their dress because they do not want to hear a single negative comment.
I am not that bride. clearly.
By sharing all most of my details, I am opening myself up to any opinions and criticisms people may have and that is OK with me because I am happy with the decisions I am making, and I am also very open to all inputs and opinions of others because I believe that is how things can become better. I have certainly heard a few inputs here and there but the one that I have found to be completely unnecessary is that of the bridal party.
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| Look at that lovely MoH |
We have 6 bridesmaids and 6 groomsmen. I think that number is pretty standard actually. Whether or not that seems like a lot to you, sometimes it is better left unsaid. There are some things, even most things, that input can be helpful on — DJ, photographer, food decisions, drink decisions, venue, date…all of these. How many bridesmaids I have is not really something that input can be provided on.
Shai wanted 6 groomsmen. Therefore I have 6 bridesmaids. I wanted it to be even. I could have done 2, 3, 4, 5, or 6. Probably not 7 though. I used to think I would try and keep it to 1 or 2 back when I was naïve about wedding decisions lol. I have 6 girls who are my absolute closest that I trust no matter how long we go without seeing or speaking to each other. They represent me in all of my stages of life. If I had not made them bridesmaids, they would have understood, but at the same time, making them bridesmaids made them happy, made them feel appreciated, and in the long run, only cost me an extra $1000-$1500, and it didn’t even have to cost me that except I chose to buy their bridesmaid dresses.
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| Oh look, another shining face |
My point is, why do you care if if a bride has 1 bridesmaid or 12 bridesmaids? It does not affect your experience at their wedding, it does not affect how much time the wedding takes (ok, maybe an extra MINUTE for them to walk down the aisle) and it does not affect how much you are paying to be at their wedding, (and by their, I mean ANY wedding) so why even bother making the comment- “Well you didn’t have to have that many.” You’re right. I didn’t. But again, I love my friends and they love me so why the hell not? It is a comment that you may think is harmless but it comes off much more judgemental than anything. I am not saying don’t ask questions, but maybe ask who they all are first, that way you will be able to understand why someone has the girls (or guys) that they have. It’s all about how you ask the question.
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| And another happy bridesmaid |
I have certainly known brides with almost 10 bridesmaids and I have certainly made the statement “wow! that is a ton!” but that is where it stops — because the reason they have that many is because they had that many girls close to them who they wanted to stand by them on one of the most important days of their lives. GOOD FOR THEM. So be surprised (I am always shocked when I hear about 10 or more bridesmaids). Tell me how you think one day you will only have one or two (I certainly always said that). But perhaps let it stay there. Keep that next thought to yourself, no matter which bride you may be talking to.
Bride rant over.
*note. No one has specifically said this to me and this is not directed at anyone in particular. I have had this occur to people closer to me ie. family and bridal party which is why I thought to blog about it. Please do not get offended.